Living Happily Ever After - a @paulsteinbrueck inspired post

I'm luckily enough to live in a time where I can learn from some of great Christian leaders just by following a blog, or a twitter account, and by reading the Word in their text.  I've learned more in the last year than I think I have in the previous 10, but I may have already said that.

Every morning, I have a ritual, at work, where I boot up my computer, then the computer next to me (which is a bit slower to boot).  While computer #2 boots up, I open a set of tabs and do a quick overlook through the pages.  Twitter is one of those tabs and this morning, I see this tweet from Paul Steinbrueck:

The worst fraud ever bought into: ‘and they lived happily ever after.’ Good relationships take work, lots & lots of hard work. -Dr Saturley

 At first look, I agreed but then it hit me: No, Dr. Saturley is wrong.  My apologies to Dr. Saturley, but I think you're missing out on something.

We are created to serve, humbly, and by serving in a humble position, we should be happy, or it isn't in a humble fashion we're serving.  I know that sounds like a poem, and I guess that's how it came out, but it's true.  We are to serve one another, in a humble fashion, and by doing so we are in direct praise of God, with our actions.

I do agree with Dr. Saturley, however, if he was speaking on the automatic condition of happily ever afterness.  Things just don't become happy because you're in love.  Things are not perfect, but in perfection there is no room for growth, and if you're not growing, you're dying.

I do believe there is happiness in the growth, in the working out messes, and there may be fights, and anger, and frustration, but when you make the conscious decision to change for another then there is happiness.

There is a difference between changing for and changing because of someone.  Changing for someone means you're changing because you notice the flaw that irritates the living daylights out of someone, and you don't want to irritate them anymore.  This could be as simple as chewing on pen tops or smoking.  Changing because of someone means you are changing to impress them, and only them.  You wear different clothes, speak differently around them, attempt to learn guitar, ride a bike, etc., just to be accepted by them.  Acceptance can be is toxic.  I know I have flaws, but I do not believe I should change my hobbies to impress someone.  I do not need to change my taste of music to be seen as "okay" by someone.  I will not change my views to make someone be okay to talk around me.  I will, however, tone my language around them because I know the f-work is too hard for them to handle.

Love is hard, but at the same time, it is happiness ever after, even with the bumps, you're still there with the one you love, and you're both still growing together.  There is joy in that alone, and where there is joy, there is happiness.