around... like this...

I hand wrote a blog yesterday, talking about how I find "Communion in the Chaos" how I recenter myself and it became a "most music sucks..." concept and it came off very egotistical and self centered. I learned something from it, though...

I'm a prick.

No, what I learned was that I was missing the real point I was trying to get at.

I asked a question, on FaceBook, yesterday "what everyone thinks are elements to a service, any run of the mill you name it service." I was looking for concrete answers to help me write a blog about Open Source Worship. What I got was anything but that and probably the most riveting comments I've ever read through.

I began to look at what people were saying and then how others were responding to them and I noticed something that struck me as odd.

We expect things from a service.

We expect to be able to walk into a church's sanctuary at a service and know what's going on because certain things are in place.

This service we see is empty.

How? We bring ourselves to God - we offer up our prayer, our worship, praises, confessions - ourselves, but we still come into each service with this predetermined view of what should be there.

I'm apart of a very "organic" service. Each week a team of highly gifted and God centered people meet and plan out how the service is to be molded to fit the sermon. This has been going on for five years now and they've hit this rhythm and God is really going to take us places in the next few months.

There is one service that stands out in my mind, and probably always will. I can't remember the sermon or the series we were in but the service was what we classified as a Quaker service. We took out all the chairs, tables, instruments, and left the alter and communion. The congregation was told to just sit in prayer and if you feel led to talk, talk. Let the Holy Spirit fill you with Gods words and speak. And what was expected to be an hour of silence filled with minor exploratory comments from a few members what we got was so much more.

After an hour and half of the deepest prayer and meditation I've ever had, I came away filled with this renewed strength and I was ready to take on the world because I knew God had lifted every bit of prayer in that room, had done so much and in that moment God had a tight hold on me.

I remember this service every time I begin to question what God Time is supposed to be like. What happens when I bring myself in front of God and give everything. How does that look, where am I, where is He?

The comments made me think: why do we expect to see certain elements in our corporate (I hate that word so much, it took me four times to spell it correctly) worship? Would we bring these elements into our own alone time with God? Every time we pray, do we have music, or a pastor teaching a sermon, or a projector with bible verses on it?

Have we really lost touch on what worship is? Have we lost focus on what God wants from us because we're trying to be like every other service and power church? Are we trying to be the next Mars Hill or Willow Creek and are we lying to ourselves about it?

If that one service could change MY outlook in what a service should be, is everything else smoke and mirrors. Are we turning the beauty of God's image of his Church into a pop culture stereotype? or have we already done it?

In the blog I had written I make a statement that one of the things that re-energizes me, re-centers me, is music. In all honesty, it's not. I don't need music to re-center me. I need God Time. I need as much of God Time as I can get.

What is God Time?

Jesus shows us by going off alone. "Very early in the morning, while it was still dark, Jesus got up, left the house and went off to a solitary place, where he prayed." (Mark 1:35 NIV) "But Jesus often withdrew to lonely places and prayed." (Luke 5:16).

Two things strike me here: First, Jesus "left the house and went off to a solitary place". He didn't stick around and allow the distractions that would have been effect his time, he left. He took a walk and found someplace else. Second, "Jesus often withdrew". Often is defined as "many times" and "many" is defined by "consisting of or amounting to a large but indefinite number". Jesus didn't do this once or twice. He did it enough times where his Apostles noticed He was missing.

The first few times there was probably panic. "Where did Jesus go?!" they searched and found Him walking back, probably with a glow to him. "Where did you go, Rabbi?" Jesus would look confused, then it would click and he'd grin. "Seriously? I mean, I can't get away and be with my Father?" (dramatic paraphrasing on my behalf here). Then, after a few times, they'd all catch on (except Peter) and go "Oh, he's off again, praying, having God Time." Sooner of latter, Peter would catch on and all would be kosher. Even Jesus, God incarnate, needed a recharge, needed time to be with him and God. Then, usually afterward, he'd do something huge like feed three thousand, walk on water or you know, raise from the dead?

So, what is God Time to me?

My perfect God Time description: A silent room, my bible, His love, His vision for me, working through me, being shown to me in His word. When was the last time I've had real God Time?

September 19, 2009.

During a weekend retreat, I had some 'down time' between two of the talks and I found an empty chair in the cabin area and just gave in. I broke down and returned to that moment like I had back when we did the 'Quaker' service.

That weekend changed my life. Don't believe me? Ask my wife.

If we really open ourselves to the love, vision and life God has for us, we'd be much happier, much more motivated and much less likely to punch someone in the face.

God Time can recharge and change you; you just have to let God in to do it.