Déjà vu

Neo: Whoa. Déjà vu.
[Everyone freezes right in their tracks]
Trinity: What did you just say?
Neo: Nothing. Just had a little déjà vu.
Trinity: What did you see?
Cypher: What happened?
Neo: A black cat went past us, and then another that looked just like it.
Trinity: How much like it? Was it the same cat?
Neo: It might have been. I'm not sure.
Morpheus: Switch! Apoc!
Neo: What is it?
Trinity: A déjà vu is usually a glitch in the Matrix. It happens when they change something.
Matrix, 1999

The concept of Déjà vu, for a lot of people, is a very weird thing. Sometimes just a flicker of something, in the head makes you stop and go "Whoa. Déjà vu." This isn't one of those things that moments latter the whole thing happens, as what happens above to Neo, but I'm talking a memory that laid dormant inside your mind that at the right time, is triggered and you go "Whoa. Déjà vu."

It's happened to me, a lot, through my life. Sometimes I remember, blatantly saying "I've seen this before, I remember this." and because I was young, I'd get excited and think I was physic.

Then, during one of those hardcore God cramming moments, in my life, where everything I did was for God, everything I spoke was about God, everything, I read the bible, had full conversations about theology, I had that newborn drive to want to know everything, and while reading something, I believe God spoke to me.

I had a déjà vu moment then questioned it, and at that exact moment I was given a clear message, and very real answer: "We have those moments because that is how God directly tells us we're headed in the right direction on His path."

Nothing more.

I was stunned to have that kind of clarity and when people talk about these kinds of things in their own lives, I can't question them because I've had that kind of moment now.

So, for me, déjà vu is that clear response to asking God, "Am I doing it right?" When you have a moment, even in the struggle, even in the valley, i means God is speaking to you, saying "I am there, and you're going the right direction."

I've shared this concept with some other people and they either accept the idea or blow it off as me talking out of my arse, but I've come to realize that over the years, I've grown and matured, but déjà vu still hits me and I still believe it's God, speaking directly to me but most of all when I begin to wonder if I'm going in the right direction or wonder if I'm making the right decisions.

Tonight was one of those moments. Here, at 3 am, I awaken to use the restroom to find, the hard way, my four year old has done number two all in the bathroom floor and in her pants, which is laying on top of the dirty clothes, in the hallway.

After cleaning it up, making sure she was okay, I sit on my laptop, coming down off that adrenaline rush you get with those kinds of things when I go and recheck a photo Pastor John had posted from this past weekend.

This past weekend a group of us spent it in God's presence. That kind of learning, fellowship, struggling, that happens when you're in God's presence and during a hike, he took a bunch of photos with his camera, one I've been particularly drawn to of a circle of branches used as a prayer labyrinth/walk kind of thing.

I had seen the photo, that weekend, and earlier tonight, but when I went back to look, I was struck with déjà vu. God had written that moment onto my heart and I came to understand that, I have been here before because God had directly written that moment into my story of my life and the recognition of that moment is beautiful onto itself.

God has a purpose for me, and when I get these feelings that I've seen it before, it's because God has already seen it, and I'm following His path for me, so close to the original plan, that I cross over into seeing what He sees for me and in this thought, I am blessed.

Grace and Peace
Jesse